Running Out of Time
As part of my research for this project, I came across a section in someone else’s book where they addressed the big question: ‘What is the right age to get married?’ I know what you’re thinking and I agree; life is too nuanced, too diverse, too unique to specify a timeline for anything. That’s the beauty of the rich tapestry that forms our individual journeys and the joy and trials of life’s surprising twists and turns. Nope. She went for 25.
According to this expert, 25 is the right age for wedlock. Any younger and you don’t know your mind; any older and you’re set in your ways. In marriage terms, 25 is the baby bear’s porridge; not too hot, not too cold – it’s just right. It’s the first time I’d heard someone so firmly plant their flag on this topic, but I have previously been aware of an insidious attitude, not openly acknowledged but felt by many, that people should be married before 30.
If you continue to count others’ milestones and focus on what you don’t have – you’re going to miss something amazing. Let me tell you Norris’s firework story. She (yep, ‘she’, her real name’s Naomi – I wish I could explain, but I honestly don’t know) was lying in bed praying. She’d just taken a hit with her love life and was feeling low. In front of her was a wall-mounted print of the London skyline. As she watched it, she got a picture of the huge New Year’s Eve fireworks display that happens every year on the river. Over to one side, she spotted a couple messing around with sparklers. They were laughing and flirting and generally having a jovial time. She wanted what they had. But then in this picture, God told her to stop watching them and to look up. Right in front of her was a beautiful firework display. Not just a couple of bangers; we’re talking the ones that corkscrew up and then glitter into a thousand cascading lights and those massive weeping-willow ones. There was probably also a Catherine wheel, although admittedly Norris never mentioned it. Moral of the story: watch the fireworks not the sparklers. What if God’s putting on a stunning show right in front of you, but you’re missing it because you’re too busy watching people make a hash of spelling out their names with a flaming stick?
Missing Out
If you continue to count others’ milestones and focus on what you don’t have – you’re going to miss something amazing. Let me tell you Norris’s firework story. She (yep, ‘she’, her real name’s Naomi – I wish I could explain, but I honestly don’t know) was lying in bed praying. She’d just taken a hit with her love life and was feeling low. In front of her was a wall-mounted print of the London skyline. As she watched it, she got a picture of the huge New Year’s Eve fireworks display that happens every year on the river. Over to one side, she spotted a couple messing around with sparklers. They were laughing and flirting and generally having a jovial time. She wanted what they had. But then in this picture, God told her to stop watching them and to look up. Right in front of her was a beautiful firework display. Not just a couple of bangers; we’re talking the ones that corkscrew up and then glitter into a thousand cascading lights and those massive weeping-willow ones. There was probably also a Catherine wheel, although admittedly Norris never mentioned it. Moral of the story: watch the fireworks not the sparklers. What if God’s putting on a stunning show right in front of you, but you’re missing it because you’re too busy watching people make a hash of spelling out their names with a flaming stick?
Now Moses was eighty years old, and Aaron eighty-three years old, when they spoke to Pharaoh.
Exodus 7:7 (ESV)
In the church there can be dangerous comparisons that leave us feel left wanting. If marriage is the superior relationship status then where does that leave the ones who feel as though they are running out of time. People can start to feel the panic as age milestones come and go. The feelings and emotions that go alongside are hurt and left behind.
To clarify this is not just related to being single in the church it can also be to do with life milestones such as if you are married, the next milestone is socially expected to be having children. What happens if the couple is finding it hard to conceive? It can also happen in the workplace. When is the promotion coming? Or buying a property – when will you stop living with your parents, stop renting and get on the property ladder?
But did you know God does not run out of time? God introduces things which are out of synch with the ‘norm’. We can trust him fully with the linear timeline of our lives.
