Perfectionism Can Make us too Busy for Self-Care – Session Four
Perfectionism Can Make us too Busy for Self-Care – Session Four
Session four exploring how perfectionism can make us too busy for self-care.
Fran Hill Book

This 6 week course will help small groups explore why, despite the Bible’s clear message that we’re accepted by God through faith and not through effort, many find difficulty taking that message to heart. We can be conditioned, perhaps from childhood and other life experiences, to feel we ‘ought’ to perform better – at work, at home, with our families, at school or college, at church and at friendship. We strive for perfection. Consequently, when we don’t or can’t perform as we wish, and – horrors! – seem to get worse, we feel like failures. This is compounded when we believe that we can’t share those disappointments honestly, especially if everyone else seems to cope wonderfully. This is session four of six, exploring the idea that perfectionism can make us too busy for self-care.

Kick-off activity

Pick a time, such as 11.30 this morning, or 8.45 the previous evening. What were you doing at that exact time? Was it something that did you good? Explain how.


Watch the below video.

Readings from the book

Extract from Monday 5 February (p106) at the family lunch

Extract from Monday 9 October (p32) about the Year 7 ballad marking.

Readings from The Book

Mark 6:31-32  Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest. So they went away by themselves in a boat to a solitary place.

Mark 7:24  Jesus left that place and went to the vicinity of Tyre. He entered a house and did not want anyone to know it; yet he could not keep his presence secret. 

Discussion, reflection and action

1. Which pressures in your life prove barriers to having ‘down’ time? Are any of them aspects of your life in which you are trying to be perfect?

2. What are your favourite things to do when you get time? What is it about them that does you good?

3. Do you feel guilty about ‘down’ time? Do you find yourself resisting what you know is good for you? If so, can you explain why? 

4. People often use a story about Mary and Martha in Luke 10:38-42 to illustrate the dangers of being too busy and trying to get everything right. In it, Martha complains that Mary just sits at Jesus’ feet and doesn’t help with all the preparations. Meanwhile, Martha is doing all the work. What do you think of the story?

5. Fran had to stay up until 11pm to get her marking done after seeing the family for Sunday lunch. Did she make the right decision? Likewise, should she also have gone for the walk with Spouse?     

6. Consider ways you could adopt the principle of ‘good enough’ rather than ‘perfect’ to create time for your own wellbeing. Pray for God’s wisdom to identify where He could help you take that Sabbath rest He so clearly designed for us.